divine.boyfriend.

Weirdo alert! So, 2015 has been the most incredible year for me as far as my soul is concerned. The shift has begun and I have stories of the divine's guidance in my life that have caused some to question my sanity. I'll certainly take the time necessary to share those stories, but I don't have that much time at the moment. With that said, I'll scratch the surface of my week and the message I have received loud and clear, via three entirely unrelated recourses. That message is simply "love yourself." It's a concept I've struggled with for years, but it's been made clear to me that if I'm ever going to be successful in this life I absolutely must resolve this issue. The universe has even sent me clues on how to get started. Several times last week I found myself preaching to my single friends that I thought I knew the answer - to become the boyfriend you desire. In doing this I figured you'd have less time to obsess over an undeserving boy whose affection you pine for, you'd developed a strong awareness of what you want out of a partner and will be less likely to settle next time, and lastly, you'll eventually attract to you the kind of person that you've developed within yourself. Not even a week later I was validated in my arrogant beliefs as two articles fell in my lap at separate times that basically summed up my aforementioned plan to become the boyfriend I wanted. Then, the third sign shook my very core and confirmed the divine energy of this vast universe was not only listening to me, but also talking back to me. I was turning down the sheets and turning off the lights at bedtime when out if no where my inner voice told me to grab the book off the shelf I had purchased over a year prior but had never read. (I remember when I purchased the book I had no clue why I even bought it other than I was drawn to it. It wasn't even along the topic of astrology which was my latest fascination and my reason for visiting the book store). So I decided to pull said book from my dark shelf, and as I turned it around to remind myself of it's title my mouth must have opened so big it could've doubled as a boat slip. The title was 'Finding The Boyfriend Within: A Practical Guide For Tapping Into Your Own Source Of Love, Happiness, and Respect.' I started reading it immediately and had to force myself to put it down an hour later so that I might get rest before sunrise. It has lit a fire in me and I have never been this determined to fall in love with myself. I now realize I can't spend another moment of this life complaining that other people's actions or inactions are the reason for my loneliness or dissatisfaction. Sure, that's the easy explanation and I could probably even convince you that I am the victim of other people's misdeeds, but I can't lie to the world or even myself anymore. I want to break these chains and be free to accept love and give my love to the one that earns it. I don't want to continue this cycle of snagging a handsome fellow, falling hard for him, then watching him walk away as I'm forced to pick my own self up off the floor. I used to get angry at these men and angry with this supposed curse I live with. My loneliness was my only friend most nights. But I'm thankful, beyond words, that my eyes have been open and I now know it isn't those men at fault. The root of my problem is I'm not happy with who I am. The source of my unhappiness is that I don't love myself. That changes now!