vacancy.

(02.05.2014) I sit at the starting line like a lump of depressed worn out flesh. I am soon to embark on a journey to what is supposed to be "the mother land," afterall, these are the cities and people that shaped and molded the creature I am now. But it doesn't feel like the promised land. It feels like hell. A past that holds so many painful memories. I keep the trips to hell as infrequent as possible. If I wanted to stab myself in the emotions I would just save the money and treat this Wednesday evening like any other, hunkered in solitude making friends with lonliness and despair. Lonliness visits frequently and makes no matter to whose company I am keeping at present. I will find myself in a loud social gathering, surrounded by smiles and care-free banter, still feeling like I am the only one left of my kind. A single broken soul with a hole so deep that the sands of time could drain it's last drop and I will still have vacancy.