wild.of.heart.

I stopped believing in the constant coincidences in my life a few years ago. A sweet, young friend of mine from back home took his life last night. The same night that I was conversing with loved ones about others who had taken their lives in the same manner. Two nights after I had a close encounter with death myself that left me humbled and more appreciative of this life I was gifted. My friend was so lost in his head. He didnt realize that getting away from it all might help unclutter. I get lonely still. Sad beyond words. But nothing like I did back then. I have no roots. Nothing to call my own. But the freedom in giving it all up seems to have dulled the pain. I truly wish I had noticed he was hurting and tried to help. Sometimes I pity the friends I left behind in the small towns of Carolina. "A prayer for the wild of heart that are kept in cages." I guess fear holds them there. Fear of the unknown. During my scary episode this week I was first beside myself with fear, of course, but I wont forget looking in the mirror, looking past the blood on my face and smiling cause I felt at that moment that I glared death in the face and said "I fear nothing!" Perhaps my stupid pride saves my dumbass sometimes. RIP J. O'Neal