I had taken a vacation with Danny once before when we decided to visit my hometown in North Carolina and yet again I found myself willing to be strapped in for the sort of shenanigans usually reserved for a Seth McFarlane film. I will always choose flying over cross-country driving, God bless the Wright brothers, however, that previous experience with Danny on an airplane resulted in being tackled by four female flight attendants, who probably double as linebackers in their spare time, and then asked never to choose American Airlines again. Needless to say, Danny has an irrational fear of planes that is hazardous for the health of anyone involved. So as to avoid another tumultuous journey we decided to drive this go-round. South Padre Island, Texas was our destination and relaxation was our goal. Our relationship can be classified as nothing less than ambiguous and I saw this not only as an opportunity to meet his family but also to relieve some of the pressure on said relationship caused by his recent diagnosis of being a shit stain on the skivvies of life.
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