Pescatarian Psycho-Babble

So, I haven’t written in a very long while.  Therefore, I may come out of the gate a little unorganized with my thoughts but if everything made sense it wouldn’t be in true Cicero fashion anyway.  So much has happened in my life over the past year.  Some amazing moments and my fair share of circumstances that can be classified as nothing more than shit!  But that is life, right?  Those shit moments are the ones that build our character and shape us to be strong independent people.  My optimistic view today isn’t resident at all times so don’t be fooled.  On several occasions I wanted to give up on life, my family, my job, and my friends.  I am so thankful that I didn’t give up.  I recently endured the betrayal of someone whose happiness I put before my own.  That was mistake one!  We should never lose ourselves in the focus of someone else’s happiness.  So that was my “bad” and I understand that now.  After shit hit the fan and things settled to the ground I was left with my mouth wide open and a heart filled with resentment and hate.  That was mistake two!  Anger will hurt no one but me and is fruitless.  Then I decided I didn’t want to be miserable any longer.  I allowed myself a day to cry about my sucky circumstances then I took it upon myself to change my own mindset.  The mind really is a powerful thing!  I reminded myself that I am grateful to have met that person who hurt me.  They made me happy for a long time.  I reminded myself that I still love them and I wish nothing but happiness for them.  Though I don’t allow them a place in my life anymore I can still smile knowing they’ll always remember the love I shared.  I can smile knowing I am going to be happier than I was before.  I can smile knowing I did my best to make someone else’s world a little brighter.  I refuse to regret it.  Okay, so with the psycho-babble comes my shallow side.  What better way to pick up the pieces and move on than to make yourself over.  I have the right attitude now for the outer beauty.  I have had black hair for over a year now and I have enjoyed it but I am ready to return to my comfort zone, blonde.  Maybe some highlights or maybe all over… I will let my stylist held me decide when I visit him this week.  Also, what the frak happened to my body?  I use to be a little hottie and now I look like a washed-up finalist from American Idol’s second season or something worse.  Time to join a gym and do something about it!  I already improved my eating habits and have reverted to drinking nothing but water.  I used to consider myself a “pescatarian lite” which would indicate that I eat only veggies and fish products but will sometimes make an exception for grilled chicken.  I do realize I am an asshole for having the audacity to make up my own food-intake classification but that is all part of my charm.  So the pescatarian lite is back and starving.  Well if you have read this whole entry then you probably have no life and if you find me entertaining then you should probably be examined by a professional and/or on medication.  None the less, it is greatly appreciated.  Thanks for all the love and support from everyone who has been there for me recently.  I have the best friends and family a queer boy could ask for!  Til next time… xoxoxo