Guong Dong Zodiac
I find myself surprised lately by the difficulty I am having connecting to new people in my life. When I was just a tot I remember reading my Chinese zodiac at the Guong Dong Chinese Buffet in Wilmington NC and it read "You will make few but lasting friendships." The animal that the zodiac connected me to was the boar - not flattering! ...but I digress... None the less, that has always stuck with me and it seems to be fairly accurate. I have met many people on my journey but very few can be classified as friends. And to cull the herd even more I can count on my fingers the ones that have stayed in touch throughout the years. My latest challenge has been making an initial connection. My experience in Dallas is that most are caught in a routine and do not have time to welcome someone new to their lives. The few that have extended friendship were pushed away by yours truly. I haven't pushed anyone away on purpose, however, I'm noticing a pattern that shocks even me. I seem to come up with some great excuses why I'm unable to get very close to people. This is not typical behavior for me and anyone that knows Cicero knows that I am THE super-social butterfly! Well, to anyone reading this that feels like I have pushed you away, you should know that it isn't personal (unless I told you otherwise) and that it's something I'm trying to work thru. xoxoxo
Pool-side
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Divorce
The last remaining thread that connected me to my former life was broken yesterday. When I drove away from Wilmington my fiance', Joshua, and I agreed to stay together and do the long distance thing until he was done with college. Apparently we both shared similar thoughts because he called me yesterday to tell me that he wanted out of the relationship, only seconds before I was going to mention it. Though the breakup is mutual it has been very emotionally draining. Joshua was my world for almost three years and he changed my life in many ways. We have agreed to remain best friends but we all know that just isn't the same. It's going to take a few weeks at least before I can celebrate my new freedom but until then I will mourn the loss of my "marriage" to another person on this Earth. xoxoxo
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