regressive.mobility.

I want to go back to a time when I knew you. I wish I could have back the days that I would wake up next to you. I hurled insults when I was angry, like everyone does, but I want those words back. Turn back the clock and I promise to cherish every minute of our time together, wasting not even one second on my frustrations. I would have no frustrations. I would accept your distant mind just the way it is without question and consider it's shared presence a gift. I want to hug you again. I want you to nibble on my knuckle, blow your breath on it, then sniff it. You always made me giggle when you'd do such silly things as that. But, alas, the life I knew then barely resembles my life now. The faces I see each day have changed. The music I listen to, the foods I eat, the clothes I wear, even the car I drive; all have evolved. The only thing that remains the same is how much I love you. I have a new lover. He is devilishly handsome. He shares my spiritual beliefs and has many of the same talents as me. Sex with him is passionate and he makes me feel sexy. He truly loves me, and that's why I feel guilt for loving you still. He deserves all of me. I deserve to give him all of me. If you could turn back the hands of time I'd have quite a predicament, trying to decide whether I should allow my heart to evolve or regress. Fortunately, life doesn't afford us stagnant or regressive mobility. Our behaviors, however resistant, will only propel us toward our destiny. However, it's our choice whether we suffer by wasting time thinking of what 'could have been' or let go and float peacefully in the knowledge that the universe will place us at the same finish line we were always going land on anyway. It hurts to let you go but I must. You are forgiven as I too long to be forgiven. You are loved. We are free. Goodbye.