Thank you, India.

I will often only write about my sorrows and woes, bleeding out my complaints because that is when I'm most inspired artistically.  Danny suggested I attempt to write, tap into my creativity if  you will, when I'm happy.  Flowery words or not, I'm happy and I want the universe to know it.  My agnostic, pescetarian on a good day, narcissistic, body dysmorphic self has managed to find some fleeting moments worth smiling about lately.  My job is going very well, knock on wood.  I actually get out of bed in the morning excited to work with my clients, cause heaven knows, every day is an adventure in the world of automobile financing.  Also, I am elated about the fact that I might be getting a brand new car for my first time very soon.  I have always driven used vehicles.  Nice, but still used.  Having a new car would be such a nice treat and I think that I deserve it.  My love life can be dissected and scattered across the operating table only to be diagnosed as unconventional or complicated.  Both of which I have grown to be okay with.  I say "grown" because I don't think I could lead the life I live if this were ten years ago.  All of the failed relationships and tribulations I have faced in my late teens and 20's truly readied me for what I consider the real world.  I find contentment in sleeping alone most nights.  I find contentment in going on an occasional date with a handsome stranger who is also trying to carve his path thru this life.  I find contentment in companionship with my best friend.  I can drag him along if I am invited to a couples outing or I can leave him behind if I am feeling like a frisky cheerleader at an away football game.  So, conventional sounds so nice, but it isn't for everyone at all times.  In truth, I don't know if I will ever be able to live like others and have the perfect marriage like Tim McGraw and Sandra Bullock in The Blind Side.  I was good at living that lie for a while in my mid-20's but I wasn't truly happy.  In fact, I wasn't even kind of happy.  Joshua was so good to me but it didn't matter because if you place your happiness on someone else's shoulders you will end up miserable EVERY TIME!  In closing, everyone has ups and downs.  We all know that.  My ups happen to be less frequent, or so it seems, and do not linger very long.  But the lows make the highs so much better.  "High on life, honey.  High on life!" (passing thought - Shelley Long, Troop Beverly Hills).  I am nervous about being too happy because I'm scared of the crash that is sure to follow.  But as I have said a million times, we are not promised tomorrow.  I don't want to waste a single day in this life.  I embrace my happy... even if it means my writing is suffering because of it.  And I know it is.  Thank you, universe.  Thank you, friends.   Thank you, haters.  And thank you, India!