lonely.pill.

Today was peppered with mystical elements and an overall youthful appeal that, simply put, felt magical. Even so, my loneliness could only be kept at bay but for so long. The moments in this lifetime when I truly felt immersed in love and acceptance, forcing loneliness into extended hiatus,have been so few that I struggle to recall each of them. However, I'm almost certain those moments could be counted on both hands. Is the world to blame? Am I to blame? I don't know if I'll ever live in peace, feeling safe in the familiarity of loved ones' embrace, but I hope I'll someday know such a happy existence. Maybe these lonely nights in unsolicited solitude are all part of some lesson I'm unknowingly learning. Meanwhile, I wish I could get comfortable with this state of aloneness, after all, it's arguably my most frequented emotion to date. Yet, to my own dismay, swallowing this pill never gets easier.